春风袅娜·初夏

谢谢

欢迎龙志诗友来华人诗社展示精彩。<BR> 这是一首长调词，成章确实不易。但无论多长，创意安排还是要力求不凑韵，方臻完善。相信朋友一定有能力做到这一点的。

欣赏佳作，诗词重在音韵协调，景色互动，情感交融，在这方面古人多采用对偶或对仗等句式，让音韵更好一些。 <div style="font-family:punctuation, 微软雅黑, Tohoma;font-size:14px;margin:0px;padding:0px;background-color:#FFFFFF;"> <span style="font-weight:bold;font-size:18px;color:#C00000;">叹芳春迟暮，惋逝韶光。<span style="color:#006600;">朱夏至，万生昌。</span></span> </div> <div style="font-family:punctuation, 微软雅黑, Tohoma;font-size:14px;margin:0px;padding:0px;background-color:#FFFFFF;"> <span style="font-weight:bold;font-size:18px;color:#C00000;">看清风、淡淡素云无力，兀鹰羊角，空唳穹苍。</span> </div> <div style="font-family:punctuation, 微软雅黑, Tohoma;font-size:14px;margin:0px;padding:0px;background-color:#FFFFFF;"> <span style="font-weight:bold;font-size:18px;color:#006600;"><span style="color:#006600;">碧水烟波，残红漂染，</span></span><span style="font-weight:bold;font-size:18px;color:#C00000;">戏水鸳鸯花上佯。</span> </div> <div style="font-family:punctuation, 微软雅黑, Tohoma;font-size:14px;margin:0px;padding:0px;background-color:#FFFFFF;"> <span style="font-weight:bold;font-size:18px;color:#C00000;">又见青山翠微掩，松风涛怒动岚彰。</span> </div> <div style="font-family:punctuation, 微软雅黑, Tohoma;font-size:14px;margin:0px;padding:0px;background-color:#FFFFFF;"> <span style="font-weight:bold;font-size:18px;color:#C00000;">。</span> </div> <div style="font-family:punctuation, 微软雅黑, Tohoma;font-size:14px;margin:0px;padding:0px;background-color:#FFFFFF;"> <span style="font-weight:bold;font-size:18px;color:#C00000;">柔柳荫荫可意，幽兴小酌，恋思邈，欲语心茫。</span> </div> <div style="font-family:punctuation, 微软雅黑, Tohoma;font-size:14px;margin:0px;padding:0px;background-color:#FFFFFF;"> <span style="font-weight:bold;font-size:18px;color:#C00000;"><span style="color:#006600;">江山在，鬓如霜。</span>人非昨日，情致豪扬。</span> </div> <div style="font-family:punctuation, 微软雅黑, Tohoma;font-size:14px;margin:0px;padding:0px;background-color:#FFFFFF;"> <span style="font-weight:bold;font-size:18px;color:#006600;">感慨经年，少华无虑；逸邀佳友，曲韵轻狂。</span> </div> <p style="font-family:punctuation, 微软雅黑, Tohoma;font-size:14px;background-color:#FFFFFF;"> <span style="font-weight:bold;font-size:18px;color:#C00000;">东君飞絮，素蛾销魂梦，金波一盏，相酹娇阳。</span> </p> <p style="font-family:punctuation, 微软雅黑, Tohoma;font-size:14px;background-color:#FFFFFF;"> 如这几句能更对仗、对偶，此篇则不失为一佳篇。 </p>